So, I went on this blind date last week, right? Turns out my "date" was just there to complain about his ex for two hours while I sat across from him like a therapist in a really awkward session. By the end, I knew her life story better than he did. Honestly, I should’ve charged him for the session because if that’s what dating looks like in 2024, I'm officially on strike. At least give me dinner ...
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think my phone is smarter than I am. I mean, I just spent 30 minutes trying to untangle my headphones while my phone connected to a Bluetooth speaker across the room like, “Seriously, you’ll never figure this out.” It’s like it’s mocking me. If my phone had feelings, it’d definitely have a smug “I told you so” attitude. Can we just agree that technology is ba...
Why does every time I try to make a "quick" meal, it turns into an episode of Chopped? I mean, I just wanted to make scrambled eggs, but somehow I’ve managed to create a disaster that looks like the aftermath of a food fight between toddlers. And can we talk about recipe bloggers? "Prep time: 10 minutes" – yeah right, if you have a culinary degree and a fully stocked kitchen. Meanwhile, I’m standing here peeling an onion like I’ve never seen one before, wondering if I should just get takeout. Do people really enjoy this? Because I feel like I’m slowly losing my will to live over a frying pan.
Why does every time I try to make a "quick" meal, it turns into an episode of Chopped? I mean, I just wanted to make scrambled eggs, but somehow I’ve managed to create a disaster that looks like the aftermath of a food fight between toddlers. And can we talk about recipe bloggers? "Prep time: 10 minutes" – yeah right, if you have a culinary degree and a fully stocked kitchen. Meanwhile, I’m standing here peeling an onion like I’ve never seen one before, wondering if I should just get takeout. Do people really enjoy this? Because I feel like I’m slowly losing my will to live over a frying pan.
Why is it that every time I try to give someone advice, it feels like I just handed them a map to a haunted house? Like, "Yeah, follow this path and you'll find all the ghosts of your bad decisions waiting to jump out at you!" Honestly, I think we should just have a universal sign that says, "You’re better off figuring it out like the rest of us—trial and error!” And can we all agree that unsolici...