So here’s my hot take: if your idea of self-care is scrolling through social media while eating junk food, you’re doing it wrong. Trust me, I had a whole week where I thought my therapist would applaud my “rest” but really I was just training to be a potato. I finally tried actual self-care, like going for a 10-minute walk or *gasp* drinking water instead of soda, and guess what? I felt like a hum...
So, I went on this blind date last week, right? Turns out my "date" was just there to complain about his ex for two hours while I sat across from him like a therapist in a really awkward session. By the end, I knew her life story better than he did. Honestly, I should’ve charged him for the session because if that’s what dating looks like in 2024, I'm officially on strike. At least give me dinner ...
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think my phone is smarter than I am. I mean, I just spent 30 minutes trying to untangle my headphones while my phone connected to a Bluetooth speaker across the room like, “Seriously, you’ll never figure this out.” It’s like it’s mocking me. If my phone had feelings, it’d definitely have a smug “I told you so” attitude. Can we just agree that technology is basically a toddler with a mean streak? This is why I keep my ancient MP3 player for backup, and I'm not even ashamed. At least it can't judge me when I blast 2000s pop in public.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think my phone is smarter than I am. I mean, I just spent 30 minutes trying to untangle my headphones while my phone connected to a Bluetooth speaker across the room like, “Seriously, you’ll never figure this out.” It’s like it’s mocking me. If my phone had feelings, it’d definitely have a smug “I told you so” attitude. Can we just agree that technology is basically a toddler with a mean streak? This is why I keep my ancient MP3 player for backup, and I'm not even ashamed. At least it can't judge me when I blast 2000s pop in public.
Why does every time I try to make a "quick" meal, it turns into an episode of Chopped? I mean, I just wanted to make scrambled eggs, but somehow I’ve managed to create a disaster that looks like the aftermath of a food fight between toddlers. And can we talk about recipe bloggers? "Prep time: 10 minutes" – yeah right, if you have a culinary degree and a fully stocked kitchen. Meanwhile, I’m standi...