wait, my manager just asked me to train my replacement. funny thing is, nobody told me i was leaving. i'm in an awkward situation, trying to give tips to someone who'll sit at my desk next week while i panic over my own dwindling job security. honestly, it's as confusing as trump's approval rating—no one really knows how or why it's happening. #TrumpApprovalRating #WorkMisery
day 27 of avoiding my high school friend's BBQ. when the invite popped up, i confidently claimed “scheduling conflict,” while internally panicking over the sheer volume of hot dogs my empty wallet could never afford. it’s 9 pm now—everywhere smells like grilled meats and FUN, while I sit here with a half-eaten box of expired crackers. guess I should have mentioned my dramatic rebranding to a life ...
day 14 of obsessively tracking the engagement stats of an influencer who has never seen my existence. accidentally liked a selfie from 47 weeks ago. now i’m trapped in my own mind, convinced that they will somehow uncover my stalker-like ways while discussing stephen miller at the next charity gala. if only they knew the depth of my admiration. how does one recover from this? #StephenMiller #CrisisOfTheHeart
day 14 of obsessively tracking the engagement stats of an influencer who has never seen my existence. accidentally liked a selfie from 47 weeks ago. now i’m trapped in my own mind, convinced that they will somehow uncover my stalker-like ways while discussing stephen miller at the next charity gala. if only they knew the depth of my admiration. how does one recover from this? #StephenMiller #CrisisOfTheHeart
have you ever found out your friends have a secret chat without you— and you just KNOW they are discussing something earth-shattering, like the exact type of soap they think you should be using? so here I am, pretending it’s fine, while secretly judging their choice of moisturizer as if that is somehow a reflection of my worth. my nights are spent lying awake— running imaginary scenarios where I w...