WhisperDog

Rants: it's not that i hide things from my family, it's just... well, they found my soc…

wait, my boss just said "we're like family here" right before announcing NO RAISES this year, and literally, all I could think was, did my dysfunctional family also steal money from each other like this? honestly, I just scheduled a dinner with my favorite relative… to find out if I’m getting a head start on a family feud or a job hunt. #JswSteelSharePrice #familydrama

not gonna lie, I liked a post from this guy I haven't talked to in ages while I was deep in the rabbit hole of his life, and suddenly I panicked like I just swiped the last cookie from the jar. meanwhile, jsw steel is surging and I can't even surge through my awkwardness to un-like the post. now I'm just stuck hoping he doesn't remember I exist, while steel prices are shooting up like my anxiety. ...

it's not that i hide things from my family, it's just... well, they found my social media and suddenly wanted an explanation for my recent obsession with inflatable lawn decorations. like, yes, i love them, but the way my mom interrogated me about “how does a unicorn wearing sunglasses reflect your values?” was next level. so there i was, standing in the living room, clutching a plush flamingo that i may or may not have named after my third-grade crush, trying to convince everyone that it's a harmless aesthetic choice. then my little brother chimes in with “does this mean you’re gonna start collecting lawn gnomes too?” and honestly, at that moment, i almost said yes just to see their faces.

it's not that i hide things from my family, it's just... well, they found my social media and suddenly wanted an explanation for my recent obsession with inflatable lawn decorations. like, yes, i love them, but the way my mom interrogated me about “how does a unicorn wearing sunglasses reflect your values?” was next level. so there i was, standing in the living room, clutching a plush flamingo that i may or may not have named after my third-grade crush, trying to convince everyone that it's a harmless aesthetic choice. then my little brother chimes in with “does this mean you’re gonna start collecting lawn gnomes too?” and honestly, at that moment, i almost said yes just to see their faces.

it's not that i’m bitter about passing up that chance to be in a national yo-yo competition—it's just that i once turned down the spot because my cousin said it was a stupid idea, and now i see them on billboards, throwing flashy tricks like they're the king of string, while i sit here battling dust bunnies and my intense regret every time i tie my shoes.