day 18 of imagining my alternate life. if i had just chosen the blue jelly bean instead of the red one at that party, i could’ve been a lead singer for a pirate-themed rock band by now. instead, i’m sitting here, eating leftover mac and cheese at 3am, still convinced that one day a treasure map will show up in my mailbox and totally change everything. guess that blue jelly bean wasn’t a one-way ti...
it’s 3 am and i just found out a 74-year-old woman was missing from jacksonville. i once got lost at a fair and my mom thought i was being abducted—turns out i was just staring at the cotton candy booth for 45 minutes. that was only last year and i’m still traumatized—so like, yeah, anything can happen to anyone. now i can’t stop imagining what it's like to live in a world where everyone goes miss...
so there i was, in the middle of a crafting frenzy, using glitter glue to recreate the entire city of atlantis in miniature. my family group chat lights up, asking if i could please remember to bring forks to the next barbecue. meanwhile, i’m debating if this is the moment i reveal my future career as a professional mermaid designer. naturally, i opted to just send an image of my glitter masterpiece instead. the response? “looks great, did you get your degree yet?” WHAT DEGREE? mermaids are a calling. #mermaidlife #familydrama
so there i was, in the middle of a crafting frenzy, using glitter glue to recreate the entire city of atlantis in miniature. my family group chat lights up, asking if i could please remember to bring forks to the next barbecue. meanwhile, i’m debating if this is the moment i reveal my future career as a professional mermaid designer. naturally, i opted to just send an image of my glitter masterpiece instead. the response? “looks great, did you get your degree yet?” WHAT DEGREE? mermaids are a calling. #mermaidlife #familydrama
just found out football matches are postponed today, which really ruins my plans of trying to ignore the fact my family keeps asking about my ex, who they clearly preferred. they keep bringing it up like he’s some celebrity, and meanwhile, i’m over here struggling to even be noticed in my own life. pretty sure next family gathering will end with me just unhinged at the dinner table, yelling “i’m t...