the way that i literally just named a whole squad of future pets with someone i exchanged a few words with at a party last week is so unhinged. i was going off about a poodle named 'naveen' and a goldfish named 'polishetty', and then reality hit me – i don’t even have their number. honestly, i think we just ruined any chance of pet co-parenting with my delusional confidence. #NaveenPolishettyAnaga...
honestly just found out my partner has been texting someone else while i am here getting texts from my landlord asking about the thermostat settings for the tenth time this week. guess we are both experiencing “HEAT” in different ways, huh?
day 18 of imagining my alternate life. if i had just chosen the blue jelly bean instead of the red one at that party, i could’ve been a lead singer for a pirate-themed rock band by now. instead, i’m sitting here, eating leftover mac and cheese at 3am, still convinced that one day a treasure map will show up in my mailbox and totally change everything. guess that blue jelly bean wasn’t a one-way ticket after all.
day 18 of imagining my alternate life. if i had just chosen the blue jelly bean instead of the red one at that party, i could’ve been a lead singer for a pirate-themed rock band by now. instead, i’m sitting here, eating leftover mac and cheese at 3am, still convinced that one day a treasure map will show up in my mailbox and totally change everything. guess that blue jelly bean wasn’t a one-way ticket after all.
it’s 3 am and i just found out a 74-year-old woman was missing from jacksonville. i once got lost at a fair and my mom thought i was being abducted—turns out i was just staring at the cotton candy booth for 45 minutes. that was only last year and i’m still traumatized—so like, yeah, anything can happen to anyone. now i can’t stop imagining what it's like to live in a world where everyone goes miss...