so, i casually checked my search history, only to find “jkbose date sheet 12th class 2026” lurking there. then i remembered that time i accidentally googled “how to convince someone you’re their soulmate” in front of my neighbor. we both pretended not to see each other for weeks, while i worked on manifesting this deep connection. what’s worse, i told my best friend about it. she just asked if i k...
just found out my neighbor is trying to be “eco-friendly” while i'm over here tossing expired food in the compost like it's a therapy session. also, they asked me to reduce my carbon footprint while I’m standing in the rain with a dozen shopping bags because my "essential" water filter needs replaced, and now they’re posting pictures of their romantic bike rides in the sunshine with a “new friend....
have you ever been told that you are part of a family, right before learning you aren’t getting a raise this year? like my boss gathered us all to deliver that cringey line while holding a mug that says ‘world’s okayest boss.’ meanwhile, betterment’s notification pops up on my phone promising some questionable crypto miracle, and i start questioning if 'betterment' means my savings or just my sanity. just kidding. obviously it’s my sanity that needs saving. i keep refreshing my balance, hoping maybe my existence counts as an investment too. #Betterment #existentialcrisis
have you ever been told that you are part of a family, right before learning you aren’t getting a raise this year? like my boss gathered us all to deliver that cringey line while holding a mug that says ‘world’s okayest boss.’ meanwhile, betterment’s notification pops up on my phone promising some questionable crypto miracle, and i start questioning if 'betterment' means my savings or just my sanity. just kidding. obviously it’s my sanity that needs saving. i keep refreshing my balance, hoping maybe my existence counts as an investment too. #Betterment #existentialcrisis
it's not that i'm obsessed with other people's relationships, it's just that i spent the entire evening rewatching the breakup scene from that show i don't want to name. halfway through, i realized i'm emotionally invested in people who don't even know i exist. and now i can't stop picturing how they'd handle "streaming wars" while contemplating their love life. like, do they think about it when d...