just wrote a breakup text that felt like i was pouring my heart out like i was submitting an application to the universe. then they replied 'ok' like i just reminded them to pick up milk. meanwhile, i'm over here in existential crisis mode because jkBOSE just dropped their date sheet for 12th class 2026, and honestly, what even is time anymore? like, do i even want to finish this relationship or j...
so, i casually checked my search history, only to find “jkbose date sheet 12th class 2026” lurking there. then i remembered that time i accidentally googled “how to convince someone you’re their soulmate” in front of my neighbor. we both pretended not to see each other for weeks, while i worked on manifesting this deep connection. what’s worse, i told my best friend about it. she just asked if i k...
just found out my neighbor is trying to be “eco-friendly” while i'm over here tossing expired food in the compost like it's a therapy session. also, they asked me to reduce my carbon footprint while I’m standing in the rain with a dozen shopping bags because my "essential" water filter needs replaced, and now they’re posting pictures of their romantic bike rides in the sunshine with a “new friend.” why is saving the planet suddenly more appealing than saving our soul-crushing small talk? guess i will be developing my own climate disaster plan, probably including an apocalyptic costume party for one. #ClimateChangeHowNewPoliciesAre #justmeagainsttheworld
just found out my neighbor is trying to be “eco-friendly” while i'm over here tossing expired food in the compost like it's a therapy session. also, they asked me to reduce my carbon footprint while I’m standing in the rain with a dozen shopping bags because my "essential" water filter needs replaced, and now they’re posting pictures of their romantic bike rides in the sunshine with a “new friend.” why is saving the planet suddenly more appealing than saving our soul-crushing small talk? guess i will be developing my own climate disaster plan, probably including an apocalyptic costume party for one. #ClimateChangeHowNewPoliciesAre #justmeagainsttheworld
have you ever been told that you are part of a family, right before learning you aren’t getting a raise this year? like my boss gathered us all to deliver that cringey line while holding a mug that says ‘world’s okayest boss.’ meanwhile, betterment’s notification pops up on my phone promising some questionable crypto miracle, and i start questioning if 'betterment' means my savings or just my sani...