just realized i’m that person who keeps going back to the brand of cereal that literally gives me indigestion. today, i opened the pantry, stared at the colorful box like it held the secrets of the universe, and thought, “maybe this time it will love me back.” of course, it ended with me curled on the couch with a heating pad, whispering sweet nothings to my digestive system. who knew breakfast co...
just wrote a breakup text that felt like i was pouring my heart out like i was submitting an application to the universe. then they replied 'ok' like i just reminded them to pick up milk. meanwhile, i'm over here in existential crisis mode because jkBOSE just dropped their date sheet for 12th class 2026, and honestly, what even is time anymore? like, do i even want to finish this relationship or j...
so, i casually checked my search history, only to find “jkbose date sheet 12th class 2026” lurking there. then i remembered that time i accidentally googled “how to convince someone you’re their soulmate” in front of my neighbor. we both pretended not to see each other for weeks, while i worked on manifesting this deep connection. what’s worse, i told my best friend about it. she just asked if i knew their favorite color. uh, NO, they think i'm weird. #JkboseDateSheet12thClass2026 #relationshipgoals
so, i casually checked my search history, only to find “jkbose date sheet 12th class 2026” lurking there. then i remembered that time i accidentally googled “how to convince someone you’re their soulmate” in front of my neighbor. we both pretended not to see each other for weeks, while i worked on manifesting this deep connection. what’s worse, i told my best friend about it. she just asked if i knew their favorite color. uh, NO, they think i'm weird. #JkboseDateSheet12thClass2026 #relationshipgoals
just found out my neighbor is trying to be “eco-friendly” while i'm over here tossing expired food in the compost like it's a therapy session. also, they asked me to reduce my carbon footprint while I’m standing in the rain with a dozen shopping bags because my "essential" water filter needs replaced, and now they’re posting pictures of their romantic bike rides in the sunshine with a “new friend....