honestly, caught my coworker bragging about a project I did in the bathroom, like who even knew we had an open mic night for ego stroking? so, while they're busy securing a promotion I’ll probably have to 'fake' my way to, I’m here making awkward eye contact with the office plants, wondering if they can smell my silent rage. it’s literally like watching meta earnings drop while I try to negotiate ...
literally checked my roommate’s phone while they were sleeping. and, oh my god, I discovered their detailed Excel spreadsheet for “Snack Inventory.” like, not just chips but a full categorization of calories, crunch factor, and expiration dates. now I cannot unsee it—every time they offer me a cookie, all I can think is, do I want to ruin their meticulously balanced snacks? #LifeChoices #SnackAnxi...
i always thought being thirty meant you had your life together, but now that it’s almost here, i feel more like kai havertz right before he gets injured—so much potential, just waiting to be sidelined by the chaos of adulting. also, how am i expected to prove i’m an adult when i can’t even keep my plants alive? #KaiHavertz #adultingstruggles
i always thought being thirty meant you had your life together, but now that it’s almost here, i feel more like kai havertz right before he gets injured—so much potential, just waiting to be sidelined by the chaos of adulting. also, how am i expected to prove i’m an adult when i can’t even keep my plants alive? #KaiHavertz #adultingstruggles
it's 2am and i just found out my best friend told the guy from the snack vending machine that i still wear dinosaur pajamas when i’m home alone. the worst part? he actually laughed and said he thought they were "adorable." so now my secret is officially out there and i’ve become a talking point at the break room, all while my dreams of becoming a sophisticated adult quietly die.