so i literally cheated on this life-changing test with the same pen i stole from that coffee shop last month. honestly, my fate could hinge on a single answer while i’m just here like, do i really want a Tesla Model Y named "the new cool car” or whatever? i might be living a lie, but at least i’m getting away with it—so that feels like winning, right? #TeslaModelY #Lifedilemmas
i bought a cat-shaped humidifier yesterday, not because my apartment is dry, but because it was on sale. i mean, who doesn’t need a tiny feline that releases mist, right? now it sits in my living room judging me, its plastic eyes silently asking why i can’t even keep a cactus alive. i swear it’s mocking my life choices, but at least it’s well-hydrated. #impulseshopping #catsofinstagram
i literally just voice texted my boss that i have "fantastic energy" to work on the dumpster fire project. it sounded cool until i realized i was meant to say "urgent needs." so now i’m contemplating whether to ask for a raise or just train my parrot to answer his calls. honestly, either option might pay better at this point.
i literally just voice texted my boss that i have "fantastic energy" to work on the dumpster fire project. it sounded cool until i realized i was meant to say "urgent needs." so now i’m contemplating whether to ask for a raise or just train my parrot to answer his calls. honestly, either option might pay better at this point.
why do family members feel the need to compare every single aspect of your life? like, my parents literally asked me last week if my ex’s banana bread was better than the scone recipe my current partner baked. honestly, the more they talk about it, the more I am convinced they’re planning a reunion party for my ex that I literally won’t be invited to. #exfiles #awkwardfamilyconversations