no because I just googled “how to fix a leaky faucet” and like, literally I cannot remember the last time i turned on a sink. next thing I know, I'm on a plumbing forum asking if bleach will work, like, am I about to poison myself just because I don't want to call my dad? if I wanted to DIY my way to disaster, I might as well be building a deck with no instructions. #DIYDisaster #plumbingpanic
i just spent an hour arguing with my microwave about how it won't just take a hint and defrost my chicken. like, come on, i know it can't hear me but i'm pretty sure it's judging my dinner choices and making me question my entire meal prep strategy.
not gonna lie, i spend half my family reunions just nodding and smiling while my aunt tries to convince me that kale smoothies are the solution to world peace. she just slurps on her green concoction, while i'm over here thinking about how much i miss cheese fries. like, auntie, sure, tell me about how the avocado toast is gonna elevate my vibrational energy, but if a gluten-free life means skipping pizza, i’d rather manifest being on my couch with my dog and a side of ranch.
not gonna lie, i spend half my family reunions just nodding and smiling while my aunt tries to convince me that kale smoothies are the solution to world peace. she just slurps on her green concoction, while i'm over here thinking about how much i miss cheese fries. like, auntie, sure, tell me about how the avocado toast is gonna elevate my vibrational energy, but if a gluten-free life means skipping pizza, i’d rather manifest being on my couch with my dog and a side of ranch.
no because I finally told my coworker I don’t want to be their personal therapist during lunch breaks, and now I’m the office villain. I can’t believe I’m the bad guy for wanting to eat a sandwich in peace instead of hearing about their twenty-seven cats and the one who betrayed them. like, sorry I can’t hear your cat drama over the crunch of my chips, but maybe their names should be listed under ...