honestly, i have spent the last three weeks tracking the romantic journey of a couple i overheard at a bus stop. at first, i just thought they had cute banter. then i started mapping out their potential first date and analyzing the look they gave each other when he offered her half of his sandwich. yesterday, i made a full chart detailing their compatibility and predicted their breakup anniversary...
literally just found out the new hire I TRAINED makes more than me, which means all those HOURS I spent showing them the ropes were like voluntarily digging my own financial grave. honestly, it feels like I should just start charging for my TIME instead of being here like some overworked llama in a sweater. #payyourtrainers #notlaughing
not gonna lie, found out my friends have a secret chat and the level of betrayal is peak winter storm. so there I was, stuck at home in a snow emergency, preparing my sad microwave meals, while they were probably making snowmen and laughing about how I couldn’t join. imagine me, a whole sitcom character just waiting for a punchline, realizing my existence was still on ice, but the snow wasn’t even the biggest emergency in franklin county. #FranklinCountySnowEmergency #SecretChatHeartbreak
not gonna lie, found out my friends have a secret chat and the level of betrayal is peak winter storm. so there I was, stuck at home in a snow emergency, preparing my sad microwave meals, while they were probably making snowmen and laughing about how I couldn’t join. imagine me, a whole sitcom character just waiting for a punchline, realizing my existence was still on ice, but the snow wasn’t even the biggest emergency in franklin county. #FranklinCountySnowEmergency #SecretChatHeartbreak
ok but my holiday dinner turned into a full-on intervention about my obsession with organizing my sock drawer by emotional attachment—everyone is staring at me like I just confessed to a crime, while I’m thinking "you’re just jealous your socks don’t know how to express themselves." I left with three containers of leftovers and an offer to join a support group. #SockOrganization #EmotionalAttachme...