yooo, so I was trying to share my highly sophisticated snack recommendations for late-night cheese puffs, right? I sent it to my private story, and apparently my coworker's thirteen-year-old daughter was peeping at my snack wisdom. I thought I was inspiring a revolution, but now I’m getting DMs asking how I "enhance the crunch." bruh, I’m just microwaving them for ten seconds like a culinary god.
honestly, i have spent the last three weeks tracking the romantic journey of a couple i overheard at a bus stop. at first, i just thought they had cute banter. then i started mapping out their potential first date and analyzing the look they gave each other when he offered her half of his sandwich. yesterday, i made a full chart detailing their compatibility and predicted their breakup anniversary...
literally just found out the new hire I TRAINED makes more than me, which means all those HOURS I spent showing them the ropes were like voluntarily digging my own financial grave. honestly, it feels like I should just start charging for my TIME instead of being here like some overworked llama in a sweater. #payyourtrainers #notlaughing
literally just found out the new hire I TRAINED makes more than me, which means all those HOURS I spent showing them the ropes were like voluntarily digging my own financial grave. honestly, it feels like I should just start charging for my TIME instead of being here like some overworked llama in a sweater. #payyourtrainers #notlaughing
not gonna lie, found out my friends have a secret chat and the level of betrayal is peak winter storm. so there I was, stuck at home in a snow emergency, preparing my sad microwave meals, while they were probably making snowmen and laughing about how I couldn’t join. imagine me, a whole sitcom character just waiting for a punchline, realizing my existence was still on ice, but the snow wasn’t even...