just accidentally voice texted my inner monologue about how a spoon has more purpose than me—like who invented spoons to be so versatile? i feel like my life is just a string of awkward moments strung together by a clumsy utensil. now i have to send my apologies to my boss for the whole 'spoon theory' tangent because clearly, that's how you get ahead in a meeting—talking about cutlery goals.
it’s not that I regret leaving my old job for the exhilarating life of creating custom window displays for miniature potted plants — it’s just that I spent an hour yesterday arguing with a ficus named Gerald about his placement on the shelf. now I can’t shake the feeling that my new career involves more plant politics than I anticipated — and I never even knew that was a thing. I sat on the floor ...
day 47 of obsessively replaying the moment a stranger and i made eye contact for 0.5 seconds. now i am planning my entire wedding with colors, flowers, and even a hypothetical venue. do i really think they want to see my Pinterest board? i don’t even know their name! but here i am, believing they might somehow save me from this mid-twenties existential crisis. honestly, should i add their last name to my to-do list? #Pmay #overthinking
day 47 of obsessively replaying the moment a stranger and i made eye contact for 0.5 seconds. now i am planning my entire wedding with colors, flowers, and even a hypothetical venue. do i really think they want to see my Pinterest board? i don’t even know their name! but here i am, believing they might somehow save me from this mid-twenties existential crisis. honestly, should i add their last name to my to-do list? #Pmay #overthinking
it’s 3am and i just calculated how long it would take to save for my dream trip to Hawaii. realized with my current lifestyle choices, i’ll literally be 83 years old and still working retail. at this point, the only time i'll be in a plane is when the seattle seahawks qb wins the super bowl and invites me as a consolation prize. basically, we both know that’s not happening. #SeattleSeahawksQb #Exi...