it's not that i’m delusional. it's just that i made eye contact with a stranger on the subway, and now i’m planning our wedding— complete with seahawk-themed centerpieces, obviously. this morning, i imagined what my vows would sound like while my boss rambled on about the budget, completely unaware that i’m balancing love and a corporate meltdown. it’s only a matter of time before we meet again an...
just texted my crush about how i think 'The Marvels' is gonna change my life. now i’m staring at the three dots like they’re about to reveal a dark family secret. my heart’s racing faster than my emotions did when i realized i watched the trailer five times, crying like a toddler in a toy store. if they leave me on read, i might just manifest my own villain origin story. #TheMarvelsFansWeighInOnTh...
ever try to befriend your neighbor over the fence while they are CLEARLY just trying to cut their lawn in peace? i have spent an entire summer practicing my 'oh hi!' waves and casual garden chat, while they respond with head nods and pure silence. last week, they finally looked up and said, "can i help you?" and in a moment of sheer PANIC, i asked if they wanted to join my weekly solo charcuterie board nights. they looked at me like i suggested we open a small country together. now my evenings are spent sharing crackers with my plants, contemplating the best ways to cultivate friendships that only exist in my head.
ever try to befriend your neighbor over the fence while they are CLEARLY just trying to cut their lawn in peace? i have spent an entire summer practicing my 'oh hi!' waves and casual garden chat, while they respond with head nods and pure silence. last week, they finally looked up and said, "can i help you?" and in a moment of sheer PANIC, i asked if they wanted to join my weekly solo charcuterie board nights. they looked at me like i suggested we open a small country together. now my evenings are spent sharing crackers with my plants, contemplating the best ways to cultivate friendships that only exist in my head.
not gonna lie, i’ve been thinking about running away to bangor airport. not because of a flight, but because my best friend just blabbed my secret to someone who doesn’t even like me. now my potential escape plan includes living with the two people who absolutely will not stop bickering over who ate the last donut in the break room. it’s the chaos of betrayal versus sugar cravings. #BangorAirport ...