Rants: ngl, I just don't get the whole "hiking for fun" thing. like, why would I wanna …

so, like, everyone raves about brunch—it's all mimosas and avocado toast, right? but honestly, why are we pretending that waiting an hour for a table just to pay $15 for eggs is fun? like, I just want breakfast at a normal time without feeling like I'm in some exclusive club or whatever, and don’t even get me started on the overpriced coffee—it’s just coffee, people!

so like, is it just me or is modern dating literally just a giant game of “who can ghost the fastest”? like, I went on this date with a guy last week and I swear he texted me “had fun!” while he was in the Uber to the next girl’s house. it’s wild how we all pretend we’re looking for something real, but we’re really just swiping left like... it’s a part-time job or something, ugh.

remember when me and my friends thought it was a good idea to make a haunted house in my garage with, like, old clothes and Halloween decorations? we put fake spiders everywhere and then actually scared my grandma so bad she dropped her knitting... honestly, who even thought that was a good idea??