my neighbor was complaining about the roads being icy right now, and all i could think was, “great, my mental state will match the weather." you see, i’ve been so focused on binge-watching entire seasons of shows instead of getting my life together, now i have an online class that just started. i forgot to do the readings and i was on a three-hour spiral about whether to skip my first class. here ...
wait, so I was trying to plan a cute picnic for my celebrity crush—got my best china, a whole playlist ready—when I find out my fictional soulmate just *proposed* to him in a series finale. I mean, I'm feeling left out over here, and now there's a Nipah virus outbreak, so can we not discuss death while I obsess over who makes his sandwiches? I’m literally on Google finding info to save him—does my...
yooo, so I was trying to share my highly sophisticated snack recommendations for late-night cheese puffs, right? I sent it to my private story, and apparently my coworker's thirteen-year-old daughter was peeping at my snack wisdom. I thought I was inspiring a revolution, but now I’m getting DMs asking how I "enhance the crunch." bruh, I’m just microwaving them for ten seconds like a culinary god.
yooo, so I was trying to share my highly sophisticated snack recommendations for late-night cheese puffs, right? I sent it to my private story, and apparently my coworker's thirteen-year-old daughter was peeping at my snack wisdom. I thought I was inspiring a revolution, but now I’m getting DMs asking how I "enhance the crunch." bruh, I’m just microwaving them for ten seconds like a culinary god.
honestly, i have spent the last three weeks tracking the romantic journey of a couple i overheard at a bus stop. at first, i just thought they had cute banter. then i started mapping out their potential first date and analyzing the look they gave each other when he offered her half of his sandwich. yesterday, i made a full chart detailing their compatibility and predicted their breakup anniversary...