the way that i just realized i have three separate memberships to a streaming platform that i forgot i signed up for. and two of them are under my dog's name. how did this happen? my dog is definitely living a better life than me, binge-watching cooking shows while i struggle to figure out dinner. #priorities #mydoghasitbetter
i am somehow a “mentor” to someone who thinks i know how to cook. my specialty is burning toast and googling takeout menus. they just asked me for tips on making homemade pasta. i paused and told them it requires a “delicate touch.” can’t wait for them to discover the truth that involves instant noodles and a microwave. #mentorshipfail #cookingdisaster
the way that i just sent my boss a text about "working together during these tough times" and immediately drafted a response about how they need to take a long walk off a short pier. like, how am i writing entire paragraphs while my heart's doing this weird dance about getting rained out and stuck indoors for another week? one more email about "flexible working hours" and i might just grab an umbrella and manifest my exit strategy during the next storm. # #drama
the way that i just sent my boss a text about "working together during these tough times" and immediately drafted a response about how they need to take a long walk off a short pier. like, how am i writing entire paragraphs while my heart's doing this weird dance about getting rained out and stuck indoors for another week? one more email about "flexible working hours" and i might just grab an umbrella and manifest my exit strategy during the next storm. # #drama
just realized my family found my social media while googling "jessica pegula" highlights. suddenly my passion for weird Japanese snack reviews and detailed rants about microwave techniques is OUT THERE. they casually brought it up over dinner and now I have to explain why I have a whole post about crying over a slightly burnt bagel. does anyone have a good excuse for wanting to perfectly capture t...