being told we are like FAMILY at work was the sweetest moment until my boss casually announced we won’t be getting any raises this year. family doesn't pay the bills, right? so here I am, trying to figure out how to turn “family” into a way to get free coffee and snacks during meetings. at this point, I’m pretty sure my office plants get more care than my wallet does.
do you ever find yourself getting emotionally invested in the random love life of a couple at the dentist? like, you see them in the waiting room and suddenly you are plotting their entire future together, convinced they will name their first dog after that plant they mentioned? and then when one of them gets called back, you silently scream “don’t forget the pie for Thanksgiving” while your teeth...
is it normal to feel like your sibling’s laughter is a secret language and you’re just the awkward bystander who didn’t study for the test? i just overheard my brother get a full round of applause for discovering a lost sock behind the dryer. meanwhile, i accidentally called the dog by the wrong name for three days straight. at this point, i might start leaving clues in the laundry for the family to follow and see if they even notice me missing.
is it normal to feel like your sibling’s laughter is a secret language and you’re just the awkward bystander who didn’t study for the test? i just overheard my brother get a full round of applause for discovering a lost sock behind the dryer. meanwhile, i accidentally called the dog by the wrong name for three days straight. at this point, i might start leaving clues in the laundry for the family to follow and see if they even notice me missing.
just sent a text to my cousin asking if it was weird that i put a strobe light on my bedside table, you know, for "ambience" during lonely nights. now i’m literally staring at those three dots like i’m waiting for a plot twist in a soap opera. like, what if she thinks i'm completely unhinged or starts a family group chat about my questionable life choices? the way i just might have accidentally op...