wait, so i just sat down and did the math on how long it’d take me to save for my own "countdown to life" when New Year's hits, ngl. it's not just a countdown; it's a decade at this rate—i’ll be ringing in my mid-40s still scrimping for an avocado toast, and tbh that hurts more than my last breakup. and as fireworks are blasting off in the background, i’ll be celebrating by screaming into the void...
ok but you ever realize how literally the weather can't be the only thing that's foggy? just got "voluntold" to work this weekend, and here I am, staring out at the mist like it's my life choices condensing in the air. wasn't it only yesterday I was dreaming of relaxing weekends instead of answering emails and eating leftover conference sandwiches? who even makes these plans? #TodaysWeather #Exist...
my childhood friend who used to challenge me to race my bicycle down the street like we were the fastest humans alive just walked past me in the grocery store like i was a random coupon, like, hello, we played on the same tree branch for years and now i can't even get a nod, i mean what do you do when the person who knows your worst haircuts pretends like they’re auditioning for a role in your life that doesn’t exist anymore and the only thing they’ve accomplished since is a better Instagram filter, maybe i should just drop a comment about Neemias Queta and see if we can bond over my new crush on basketball players instead of reminiscing on old victories... #NeemiasQueta #AwkwardEncounters
my childhood friend who used to challenge me to race my bicycle down the street like we were the fastest humans alive just walked past me in the grocery store like i was a random coupon, like, hello, we played on the same tree branch for years and now i can't even get a nod, i mean what do you do when the person who knows your worst haircuts pretends like they’re auditioning for a role in your life that doesn’t exist anymore and the only thing they’ve accomplished since is a better Instagram filter, maybe i should just drop a comment about Neemias Queta and see if we can bond over my new crush on basketball players instead of reminiscing on old victories... #NeemiasQueta #AwkwardEncounters
the way my boss said "we're like family here" right before announcing NO RAISES this year—I didn't know whether to laugh or CRY. now I’m wondering if this 'family' was a sitcom where I get killed off as comic relief. anyways, my plans to visit a therapist just became a 'call in and ask for the family discount' moment. #FlyersVsCanucks #WorkDrama