the way that my intrusive thoughts always come at the worst times, right? like I just wanted to send a sweet voice note to my friend about "The Pitt" and somehow ended up confessing that I’d rather give a pizza my undivided attention than deal with my life choices. so now my phone is like, “Hey, you know that mental breakdown you didn't know you were having? Here it is.” like, no, please, I can't....
my toxic coworker just got promoted and now they’re my boss. as if witnessing their awful management skills was not painful enough, the office is now one big drama where my stress is second only to their ridiculous self-importance. just the other day, they compared their success to the ICC U19 Cricket World Cup standings like, wow, that is... not what anyone cares about right now, but it’s fine, I...
it's not that I'm obsessed with potted plants, it's just like, a financial plan - so when someone saw my search history and raised an eyebrow at “how to revive a dying fern” I just said, “literally, it’s an investment strategy.” like, what can I say? if I can’t afford therapy, I’ll just become a plant parent instead and hope they don’t judge my financial situation. #adulting #plantparenting
it's not that I'm obsessed with potted plants, it's just like, a financial plan - so when someone saw my search history and raised an eyebrow at “how to revive a dying fern” I just said, “literally, it’s an investment strategy.” like, what can I say? if I can’t afford therapy, I’ll just become a plant parent instead and hope they don’t judge my financial situation. #adulting #plantparenting
ever look at the news and think, wow, at least I’m not that guy getting filmed right before it all went wrong? meanwhile, I have the same work meetings every day, with the same people laughing when I deliver a presentation that’s basically my own personal version of a public execution. if someone recorded those, I’d probably win an award for best tragicomedy. one time, I even tripped on my words s...