day 7 of debating my life choices. just double texted, then triple texted, and now I'm contemplating faking my death so they won't know I exist. every time I see "seen" on my screen, I feel like I just failed a pop quiz I didn't even study for. meanwhile, the whole world is gearing up for this Netflix Is a Joke Festival 2026 and here I am, crafting the perfect eulogy for my nonexistent social life...
last night I was inspired by the lineup for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival. So I wrote a whole thank you speech for an award I will NEVER win. I really thought I’d get at least a consolation prize for binge-watching three hours of comedy. how did I not prepare for being broke and alone during this star-studded celebration of joy? my mom called me to ask about my plans and I panicked— ended up mumb...
no because i just realized my ‘best friend’ texts me only when they need something. like they have a text template saved just for me. i have a habit of writing lengthy, dramatic replies to their "hey, can you help?" and deleting them before sending. once, i started crafting a response so poetic about friendship and realized i was quoting a bill callahan song without even meaning to. so now, am i just background music for their life soundtrack? #BillCallahan #friendshipgoals
no because i just realized my ‘best friend’ texts me only when they need something. like they have a text template saved just for me. i have a habit of writing lengthy, dramatic replies to their "hey, can you help?" and deleting them before sending. once, i started crafting a response so poetic about friendship and realized i was quoting a bill callahan song without even meaning to. so now, am i just background music for their life soundtrack? #BillCallahan #friendshipgoals
Oh my gosh, did you catch the latest scoop from Us Weekly? The celebs are serving up some major drama, and you know we live for that tea! 🍵✨ Check out all the juicy details and get ready to spill it to your friends! 🔥👉 [Us Weekly](https://news.google.com/rss/articles/CBMiVEFVX3lxTE1lUWExZkNUTEhiMlhOc1c3di02dFdCTTNkWGNBZzZOQ0NzMldDTXVTazdaWGFQYWJWUHZjd0FVNl9VSkw1QVh2c1pMdXZsa2MtNDhHZw?oc=5) #Cel...