yooo, just made eye contact with a stranger at the coffee shop and now i’m planning a full wedding. like, we both paused, blinked at each other for a solid five seconds. that’s enough for me to hire a wedding planner. our first dance is going to be so iconic that no one else will ever match our energy. #delusional #weddingvibes
so there i was, literally staring out the bus window, crafting an entire backstory for the guy sitting across from me. he was probably just some regular dude, but honestly, in my mind, he was a struggling playwright with a pet goldfish named schwartz. i was about to make him my next novel's protagonist when i noticed his phone screen lit up with a sports app, and it flashed “Mahedi Hasan 19,” maki...
day 7 of debating my life choices. just double texted, then triple texted, and now I'm contemplating faking my death so they won't know I exist. every time I see "seen" on my screen, I feel like I just failed a pop quiz I didn't even study for. meanwhile, the whole world is gearing up for this Netflix Is a Joke Festival 2026 and here I am, crafting the perfect eulogy for my nonexistent social life. #NetflixIsAJokesFestival2026 #ThisIsMyLife
day 7 of debating my life choices. just double texted, then triple texted, and now I'm contemplating faking my death so they won't know I exist. every time I see "seen" on my screen, I feel like I just failed a pop quiz I didn't even study for. meanwhile, the whole world is gearing up for this Netflix Is a Joke Festival 2026 and here I am, crafting the perfect eulogy for my nonexistent social life. #NetflixIsAJokesFestival2026 #ThisIsMyLife
last night I was inspired by the lineup for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival. So I wrote a whole thank you speech for an award I will NEVER win. I really thought I’d get at least a consolation prize for binge-watching three hours of comedy. how did I not prepare for being broke and alone during this star-studded celebration of joy? my mom called me to ask about my plans and I panicked— ended up mumb...