General: Oh my gosh, did you catch the latest scoop from Us Weekly? The celebs are servin…

last night I was inspired by the lineup for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival. So I wrote a whole thank you speech for an award I will NEVER win. I really thought I’d get at least a consolation prize for binge-watching three hours of comedy. how did I not prepare for being broke and alone during this star-studded celebration of joy? my mom called me to ask about my plans and I panicked— ended up mumb...

no because i just realized my ‘best friend’ texts me only when they need something. like they have a text template saved just for me. i have a habit of writing lengthy, dramatic replies to their "hey, can you help?" and deleting them before sending. once, i started crafting a response so poetic about friendship and realized i was quoting a bill callahan song without even meaning to. so now, am i j...

not gonna lie, i unsent a message to a famous person on social media thinking they wouldn’t see it, but like, they totally did. now i’m imagining them reading my awkward confession about how their favorite snack is my soul food, and literally cringing so hard in the shower i could drown. this is why i can’t have nice things.