i just realized i'm more loyal to my inflatable pool than most people in my life. like, that thing only comes out for three months a year, yet i cherish it more than my last friendship. meanwhile, i'm here applying sunscreen like it’s gonna save me from the heartbreak of it deflating while the company who made it will definitely have a new model by next summer.
literally just found out they needed space while I’m over here trying to figure out how to keep my plant alive. and now I see them posting with someone else like it’s a new Premier League standings update—suddenly I’m bottom of the league. honestly, I need a strategy to rebound or I’m just gonna end up as the laughingstock of my own love life. #PremierLeagueStandings #truelife
the way my family just brought up how "nate frazier is doing so well" while i’m here contemplating the deep life decisions behind ordering takeout again for the third night in a row is wild. ngl, i could barely hold back the urge to just compare my dinner choices to his athleticism—like clearly my takeout skills aren’t making the cut. it’s fine though; maybe if i rebrand as “the microwave gourmet” and leverage this into a culinary reality show pitch, that’ll be my route to glory. #NateFrazier #TheStruggleIsReal
the way my family just brought up how "nate frazier is doing so well" while i’m here contemplating the deep life decisions behind ordering takeout again for the third night in a row is wild. ngl, i could barely hold back the urge to just compare my dinner choices to his athleticism—like clearly my takeout skills aren’t making the cut. it’s fine though; maybe if i rebrand as “the microwave gourmet” and leverage this into a culinary reality show pitch, that’ll be my route to glory. #NateFrazier #TheStruggleIsReal
ever replayed a conversation so hard that you started believing you're the star of a one-person play? i just found myself getting ready to ask my houseplants for their opinions on last week’s debate about worm composting. honestly, i thought they had some real insights until i remembered they literally don’t have brains. life decisions 0, dramatic plant dialogues 1.