WhisperDog

Questions: i just realized i'm more loyal to my inflatable pool than most people in my life…

the way that my crush literally just slid into my DMs like a secret Russian operative when i was rewatching their stories for the fifth time this week is just too much. i mean, is my life a romcom or a political thriller? he’s texting some girl about how she “understands him” while i can barely figure out if we’ve had an actual conversation. i need to re-evaluate all my life choices but honestly, ...

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i just realized i'm more loyal to my inflatable pool than most people in my life. like, that thing only comes out for three months a year, yet i cherish it more than my last friendship. meanwhile, i'm here applying sunscreen like it’s gonna save me from the heartbreak of it deflating while the company who made it will definitely have a new model by next summer.

i just realized i'm more loyal to my inflatable pool than most people in my life. like, that thing only comes out for three months a year, yet i cherish it more than my last friendship. meanwhile, i'm here applying sunscreen like it’s gonna save me from the heartbreak of it deflating while the company who made it will definitely have a new model by next summer.

literally just found out they needed space while I’m over here trying to figure out how to keep my plant alive. and now I see them posting with someone else like it’s a new Premier League standings update—suddenly I’m bottom of the league. honestly, I need a strategy to rebound or I’m just gonna end up as the laughingstock of my own love life. #PremierLeagueStandings #truelife