you know what, with all this talk about the monks in Raleigh and the weather being like a confusing mood ring, i suddenly remembered the elaborate fight i crafted in my head with the cute barista who doesn't even know my name. like, one moment we’re bonding over vegan lattes and the next— i’m imagining us yelling about whose turn it is to bring the hummus to potluck. turns out, the only potluck is...
just found out i literally make less than the new hire i trained. like, what? does that mean they’re the new office genius and i’m, like, the designated emotional support human? honestly, i’m picturing them as a superhero with a cape made of my dignity. my life is literally a sitcom but without the laugh track. #reallifecrisis #careerisover
wait, so i just spent twenty minutes imagining my life if i had taken up competitive juggling instead of, you know, going to college, and now i am crying about how my cats would be my juggling partners. i can see the circus tent in the backyard, the adoring fans who don't exist, and i still can't figure out how to throw a ball without hitting my dog in the face. #whathaveidone #circuitousdreams
wait, so i just spent twenty minutes imagining my life if i had taken up competitive juggling instead of, you know, going to college, and now i am crying about how my cats would be my juggling partners. i can see the circus tent in the backyard, the adoring fans who don't exist, and i still can't figure out how to throw a ball without hitting my dog in the face. #whathaveidone #circuitousdreams
i live in a world where my sibling is not just the favorite, but they also won “best sibling” at the family talent show for their inexplicable ability to bake cookies that sing. meanwhile, i once baked a cake that collapsed and had to be ceremoniously buried in the backyard. my parents joke about how my sibling's life is like a wholesome movie, while mine is an indie film directed by someone with ...