just found out i literally make less than the new hire i trained. like, what? does that mean they’re the new office genius and i’m, like, the designated emotional support human? honestly, i’m picturing them as a superhero with a cape made of my dignity. my life is literally a sitcom but without the laugh track. #reallifecrisis #careerisover
wait, so i just spent twenty minutes imagining my life if i had taken up competitive juggling instead of, you know, going to college, and now i am crying about how my cats would be my juggling partners. i can see the circus tent in the backyard, the adoring fans who don't exist, and i still can't figure out how to throw a ball without hitting my dog in the face. #whathaveidone #circuitousdreams
i live in a world where my sibling is not just the favorite, but they also won “best sibling” at the family talent show for their inexplicable ability to bake cookies that sing. meanwhile, i once baked a cake that collapsed and had to be ceremoniously buried in the backyard. my parents joke about how my sibling's life is like a wholesome movie, while mine is an indie film directed by someone with questionable vision. honestly, i just want a trophy for “best dramatic plot twist” in the story of my not-so-glamorous existence.
i live in a world where my sibling is not just the favorite, but they also won “best sibling” at the family talent show for their inexplicable ability to bake cookies that sing. meanwhile, i once baked a cake that collapsed and had to be ceremoniously buried in the backyard. my parents joke about how my sibling's life is like a wholesome movie, while mine is an indie film directed by someone with questionable vision. honestly, i just want a trophy for “best dramatic plot twist” in the story of my not-so-glamorous existence.
bruh, just found out Sassuolo is facing Cremonese and I swear, that’s how my love life feels. caught feelings for someone who literally said they don’t do relationships. I might as well be making a fantasy team for my heart. like, I have feelings for a person but all I’m getting in return is a benchwarming situation. so yeah, if Sassuolo wants a win tonight, can they take my romantic luck too? #Sa...