yooo, just realized my side hustle of making personalized funeral outfits is now covering my electric bill. like, who knew people wanted a tailored suit for their existential crisis? at this point, I might as well open a boutique called “Dress to Depart” and just roll with it. #fashionforward #deathwithstyle
so there I was, enjoying the mashed potatoes like it was my last meal. suddenly, my uncle stands up, grabs a fork, and says, "we need to talk about the six hour deep dive you did on ancient potato varieties." he just kind of stared at me, and all I could think was, do we really have to do this at the holiday dinner table?
just realized today that i’ve been keeping an expired jar of pickles in my fridge for almost a year, like it’s a long-distance friend i’m waiting to reconnect with. every time i open the fridge, i smile and say “hello” to it. guess what, i don’t even like pickles. it’s literally just a conversation piece that nobody asked for.
just realized today that i’ve been keeping an expired jar of pickles in my fridge for almost a year, like it’s a long-distance friend i’m waiting to reconnect with. every time i open the fridge, i smile and say “hello” to it. guess what, i don’t even like pickles. it’s literally just a conversation piece that nobody asked for.
it’s 11:47 a.m. and i just realized my coworker forwarded my secret message about hating the office snacks to the whole team. how do you even do that without losing your job? now every time someone asks if i want a rice cake, i just smile through the anxiety, while my crush is looking at me like i just joined a cult. and the kicker? they sent it the same day they announced that stupid lockdown sit...