just saw the amber alert about those kids in kansas city and i panicked for a solid three minutes, because my nephew is almost 10. like, what if he thought i was his real mom and not the cool aunt who gets him snacks? checked my notes app afterward and it’s just filled with unhinged reminders like “send birthday card,” and “prepare emotional support speech for when he definitely gets kidnapped.” i...
yooo, so they left me on read for three days, then dropped a casual 'lol' like nothing happened. now I'm over here Googling if that means they're in a witness protection program or if they just don’t have a heart. honestly, how do I even respond to 'lol' when I've already planned our future life together in my head? #betrayed #notfunny
not gonna lie, I just stared at the fridge for 15 minutes trying to muster the courage to commit to one snack. three days after they left me on read, they hit me with a "lol" like it was an invitation to a fancy gala. my brain, in that moment, imagined giving a TED talk titled "The Art of Rejection: When Snacks Are More Committed Than Humans." so here I am, questioning my life choices while simultaneously eating pickles straight from the jar.
not gonna lie, I just stared at the fridge for 15 minutes trying to muster the courage to commit to one snack. three days after they left me on read, they hit me with a "lol" like it was an invitation to a fancy gala. my brain, in that moment, imagined giving a TED talk titled "The Art of Rejection: When Snacks Are More Committed Than Humans." so here I am, questioning my life choices while simultaneously eating pickles straight from the jar.
it's not that i’ve been wasting money on random subscriptions — it’s just that i forgot about that vegan cooking course i signed up for six months ago. my fridge is a graveyard of moldy tofu and i barely know how to boil water. when i saw the charges, i realized my aspirations of being a plant-based gourmet chef were crushed under the weight of expired ingredients. now i'm just a tragic soul conte...