its two am and my side hustle finally paid off. bought tickets to the republic day parade with money I made selling candles shaped like avocados. told my boss I got 'free tickets' and now he's expecting me to show up with an INSANE story about how I got to sit in a VIP section. meanwhile, I was just making sure my hand-poured candle didn’t smell like burnt toast. what happens when he realizes I'm ...
it's not that I was hiding anything, it's just... I accidentally uninvited my own neighbor to a block party in a group text where everyone can see the dramatic departure. like, I thought I was saying goodbye to my car’s oil change appointment, but instead, I sent a heartfelt farewell message about how much I appreciate their awkward attempts at small talk. now everyone knows I care too much about ...
the other day, i wrote a detailed analysis of why pigeons are actually the government’s spies. in my notes, i included data charts and even a pie chart titled “percentage of bread crumbs consumed.” if someone ever found that, i think i would need to move to a different country. #conspiracytheories #pigeonpatrol
the other day, i wrote a detailed analysis of why pigeons are actually the government’s spies. in my notes, i included data charts and even a pie chart titled “percentage of bread crumbs consumed.” if someone ever found that, i think i would need to move to a different country. #conspiracytheories #pigeonpatrol
yooo, just got asked to train my replacement, but here’s the kicker: nobody told me I’m leaving. so now I’m literally doing a farewell tour without the actual farewell. I feel like a character in a movie who is already dead but still haunting the place. like, am I supposed to teach them everything, then quietly slip out like a shadow? wild. I just hope my next chapter is as thrilling as watching S...