it's not that i’ve been wasting money on random subscriptions — it’s just that i forgot about that vegan cooking course i signed up for six months ago. my fridge is a graveyard of moldy tofu and i barely know how to boil water. when i saw the charges, i realized my aspirations of being a plant-based gourmet chef were crushed under the weight of expired ingredients. now i'm just a tragic soul conte...
yooo, so I saw this girl on the bus with a 90s flannel and combat boots, and instantly I created an entire life for her. she’s definitely a secret skateboarder who runs a side business selling vintage vinyls. but then I realized I might be projecting, because here I am, alone in my room with a Chris Cuomo alert blaring on my phone, sweating over my toaster trying to make ‘artisanal’ avocado toast....
bruh, my mom just asked when I’m having kids again and I had to nod while internally panicking because I am still reeling from the fact that Zeynep Sonmez is crushing it on the court, playing in an atmosphere I can’t even afford to spectate. Meanwhile, I can barely keep my houseplants alive, so clearly I shouldn’t be in charge of a human being. Also, she thinks I’m going to show her some grand baby plans when I still haven’t even told her that I’m putting my Netflix account on hold to save up for a couch. Like, talk about misreading the serve. #SonmezTennis #StillNoCouch
bruh, my mom just asked when I’m having kids again and I had to nod while internally panicking because I am still reeling from the fact that Zeynep Sonmez is crushing it on the court, playing in an atmosphere I can’t even afford to spectate. Meanwhile, I can barely keep my houseplants alive, so clearly I shouldn’t be in charge of a human being. Also, she thinks I’m going to show her some grand baby plans when I still haven’t even told her that I’m putting my Netflix account on hold to save up for a couch. Like, talk about misreading the serve. #SonmezTennis #StillNoCouch
9l