no because i literally finished my laundry after 3 weeks of just wearing the same two shirts. i put away my clean clothes and felt this surge of pride, like i just climbed mount everest, or at least a small hill, while literally missing a shoe. i even folded my fitted sheets like they were an origami masterpiece but now i just have a weird towel taco in my closet, so who am i really impressing her...
wait, so everyone is RAVING about this 19 minute viral video but when i watched it, it literally felt like 19 hours of a cat doing the Macarena in slow-mo with an existential crisis soundtrack? like, by minute 12 i was genuinely wondering if my microwave was judging me for making a frozen pizza for breakfast. so, yeah, i guess everyone loves it, but all i got was a pizza and deep philosophical dre...
ok but i watched a whole 3-hour joe rogan podcast the other day, right? by the end, i realized i still couldn’t tell if it was about aliens or protein powder. the only thing i learned was that my couch is way more comfortable than facing reality. #JoeRogan #lifechoices
ok but i watched a whole 3-hour joe rogan podcast the other day, right? by the end, i realized i still couldn’t tell if it was about aliens or protein powder. the only thing i learned was that my couch is way more comfortable than facing reality. #JoeRogan #lifechoices
honestly, last night i ate cai from this street vendor whose sign said “world's best” but looked more like a garage sale than a kitchen—so you know, really high expectations. it was like flirting with danger, but the kind of danger that feels romantic, like “if we both survive this, we're soulmates.” spoiler alert: i’m feeling all the love and regret this morning—but hey, it was worth the *delight...