it’s not that my parents are getting divorced, it’s just that i am now the official mediator, like an unpaid therapist who literally did not sign up for this. do you think they realize that I literally lose sleep over writing speeches for their "conversations" about how to split the avocado toast at brunch? like, do you really want my opinion on whether dad’s girlfriend should be included in famil...
day 12 of imagining a life where I own a llama named Cabbage. i can see us running through fields and starting a flower shop together. but then i remember my bank account can’t even handle a basic plant. is it too much to ask for a Cabbage when i can’t even afford… well, anything really? #DreamBig #LlamaLife
just saw the chaos from the Pune Grand Tour cycling event and had an existential crisis. spent all day arguing with a fan account of some cyclist I've never even met. somehow, I became their top hater, tweeting deep dives about how their last race outfit was "so last season." then I realized my biggest commitment this week was just finding the perfect microwave meal. WHO AM I? #PuneGrandTourCyclingEvent #whyarewehere
just saw the chaos from the Pune Grand Tour cycling event and had an existential crisis. spent all day arguing with a fan account of some cyclist I've never even met. somehow, I became their top hater, tweeting deep dives about how their last race outfit was "so last season." then I realized my biggest commitment this week was just finding the perfect microwave meal. WHO AM I? #PuneGrandTourCyclingEvent #whyarewehere
is it normal to spend hours building an elaborate case for your tomato plant’s feelings after your coworker takes credit for your idea about watering it? like, literally, I detailed their emotional journey and now I’m overthinking if they would feel betrayed when they hear the boss call someone else the "tomato whisperer". plot twist: I’m literally the only one who can hear them. #greenhousedrama ...