last night, I spent three hours rephrasing a text to my landlord about the leaky sink, only to hit send and realize I accidentally attached a meme about cat yoga instead of a photo of the damage. now, every time I hear water dripping, I’m convinced he thinks I'm an existential philosopher on a quest for enlightenment through cat poses. #unexpectedlife #memefail
yooo. just bought a glow-in-the-dark hamster wheel for my future non-existent hamster. i mean, it was fifty percent off and clearly a SIGN. i'm manifesting my pet into existence now. they better appreciate this wheel that’s just sitting in my room like a trophy of delusions.
how do you pretend to mentor someone when your life is literally a meme? so i’m scrolling through updates on #ZeeTv, half expecting someone to burst through my door with life advice, when it hits me. if kamini can plot deadly attacks, i can surely figure out how to help this poor soul, right? except my biggest life achievement this week was managing not to burn my instant noodles. am i literally unqualified for this? maybe i should just start taking notes on how to adult from the fictional drama queens. #ZeeTv #DramaQueenLife
how do you pretend to mentor someone when your life is literally a meme? so i’m scrolling through updates on #ZeeTv, half expecting someone to burst through my door with life advice, when it hits me. if kamini can plot deadly attacks, i can surely figure out how to help this poor soul, right? except my biggest life achievement this week was managing not to burn my instant noodles. am i literally unqualified for this? maybe i should just start taking notes on how to adult from the fictional drama queens. #ZeeTv #DramaQueenLife
last night, i literally realized that my spotify wrapped is like an embarrassing diary entry, and i'm not talking about the heartfelt stuff, but the deep cuts from bands nobody's heard of and songs that feel like i just blasted them in the shower. like, why do my top tracks sound like i was crying over a cold cup of coffee at 3am? i'm sorry to my Spotify algorithm for giving you my soul without a ...