wait, so i heard markiplier's bringing his movie to theaters, right? like, as if my weekends weren’t already spiraling into a void of online gaming guilt. i'm over here watching gameplay at 3 am and, now? i can’t tell if i want free popcorn or a full-on existential crisis, like who am i kidding? maybe i’ll just skip it all, hide in a closet, and wish i had the guts to join markiplier’s life instea...
it's not that i didn't realize it, it's just... i was always blaming my apartment for the bad vibes. like the fluorescent lights flickering and the water pressure dropping at exactly 2 PM every day were CURSED. turns out it’s just me projecting my problems like a movie nobody wanted to watch. now i'm watching bruce springsteen sing about minneapolis and wondering if the song is about a guy escapin...
i looked through some old photos and honestly, i don’t even recognize that person. like, who is she? she literally smiled in every picture, even in that one from the awkward family reunion where i spilled spaghetti on my shirt. am i growing or just losing my mind? maybe growth is just becoming more and more confused about how you got from 'the life of the party' to 'the life of the cat video collection.' #existentialcrisis #whathappenedtome
i looked through some old photos and honestly, i don’t even recognize that person. like, who is she? she literally smiled in every picture, even in that one from the awkward family reunion where i spilled spaghetti on my shirt. am i growing or just losing my mind? maybe growth is just becoming more and more confused about how you got from 'the life of the party' to 'the life of the cat video collection.' #existentialcrisis #whathappenedtome
everyone knows introducing someone as "a friend" is just code for "we haven’t discussed the label yet.” it’s like walking into a taco place and being offered a salad—totally missing the point. like, can we at least acknowledge that ‘friend’ is the platonic equivalent of wearing sweatpants in public? we both know that underneath this cotton disguise, there’s a whole layer of emotional calories that...