just accidentally voice texted my deepest intrusive thoughts while trying to send a sweet message about the new gta 5 update. instead of saying “i love playing with you,” i sent “you are my personal downfall and my favorite disaster.” now my situationship is staring at me like i just leveled up in CRINGE. there was no recovering from that—are we still vibing or have i just driven my heart off a vi...
i always thought if my family found my social media, i’d just casually explain my obsession with making detailed personality profiles for my favorite kitchen appliances—because honestly, my blender has trust issues. but here i am, backpedaling, trying to justify why my toaster is a “fiery artist” and i can’t explain the “relationship” with my dish soap that began after a deep existential crisis ab...
wait, so I decided to literally take up amateur birdwatching, right? I went to the park with binoculars and a notepad to take notes on their habits. now I’m like a full-on avian anthropologist in my head, plotting my research paper titled “The Secret Lives of Sparrows” while barely being able to identify a pigeon. now I have to explain to my friends why I will be spending all my weekends staring into trees like I’m looking for answers to life itself.
wait, so I decided to literally take up amateur birdwatching, right? I went to the park with binoculars and a notepad to take notes on their habits. now I’m like a full-on avian anthropologist in my head, plotting my research paper titled “The Secret Lives of Sparrows” while barely being able to identify a pigeon. now I have to explain to my friends why I will be spending all my weekends staring into trees like I’m looking for answers to life itself.
it’s day 47 of ignoring my dreams while sipping instant coffee. found out today that my old college buddy just struck gold with an opportunity I casually turned down. they’ve gone from basement dweller to literal mogul while I’m still negotiating the price of gold at the market. honestly, if gold rates keep going up, I might need to take up metal detecting just to afford a future. #