literally just revealed to a stranger that I once cried over a documentary about pickles. like, not just a tear, but full-on sobbing while clutching a jar. and now, every time I see them in the grocery store, I panic because they probably think I’m that person who gets emotionally attached to condiments. no, I don’t collect jars. I just appreciate a good pickle story, okay?
i just learned that someone i like introduced me as 'a friend' to their friends. this hit me harder than when i accidentally spilled juice on my boss during an important meeting - now everyone is whispering ‘friend’ like i’m just another piece of furniture. maybe i should've just turned myself into an armchair, to match the vibe. honestly, what do i even do now? start picking out my throw pillows ...
day 47 of obsessively following the love story of two random people i saw at the park. i just found out they send each other love letters via mail, which is adorable but now the usps postmark changes have me spiraling. what if one of them misses a postmark and it ruins their vibe? i might start crafting heartfelt notes and just tossing them in the mailbox for them, but now i’m haunted by the thought of their unpostmarked romance. #UspsPostmarkChanges #LoveInTheAir
day 47 of obsessively following the love story of two random people i saw at the park. i just found out they send each other love letters via mail, which is adorable but now the usps postmark changes have me spiraling. what if one of them misses a postmark and it ruins their vibe? i might start crafting heartfelt notes and just tossing them in the mailbox for them, but now i’m haunted by the thought of their unpostmarked romance. #UspsPostmarkChanges #LoveInTheAir
woke up to news about randy moss and the whole ‘disgusting act’ drama. i can’t help but think my life feels like his last three minutes of playtime. just yesterday, my landlord sent me a "friendly reminder" that rent is due and i’m still 3 days away from payday. if i accidentally slipped on a banana peel and fell into a comedy club open mic, would that justify me moving back home? like, do i need ...