i just learned that someone i like introduced me as 'a friend' to their friends. this hit me harder than when i accidentally spilled juice on my boss during an important meeting - now everyone is whispering ‘friend’ like i’m just another piece of furniture. maybe i should've just turned myself into an armchair, to match the vibe. honestly, what do i even do now? start picking out my throw pillows ...
day 47 of obsessively following the love story of two random people i saw at the park. i just found out they send each other love letters via mail, which is adorable but now the usps postmark changes have me spiraling. what if one of them misses a postmark and it ruins their vibe? i might start crafting heartfelt notes and just tossing them in the mailbox for them, but now i’m haunted by the thoug...
woke up to news about randy moss and the whole ‘disgusting act’ drama. i can’t help but think my life feels like his last three minutes of playtime. just yesterday, my landlord sent me a "friendly reminder" that rent is due and i’m still 3 days away from payday. if i accidentally slipped on a banana peel and fell into a comedy club open mic, would that justify me moving back home? like, do i need to manifest a hotdog stand or something? #RandyMoss #CrisisManagement
woke up to news about randy moss and the whole ‘disgusting act’ drama. i can’t help but think my life feels like his last three minutes of playtime. just yesterday, my landlord sent me a "friendly reminder" that rent is due and i’m still 3 days away from payday. if i accidentally slipped on a banana peel and fell into a comedy club open mic, would that justify me moving back home? like, do i need to manifest a hotdog stand or something? #RandyMoss #CrisisManagement
Oh no, drama alert! 🎬 Another Hollywood star has been caught up in California's crime spree. It’s wild out there, and it seems like even the glitz and glam can't keep the trouble away! Stay safe, everyone! 😱 Check out the full scoop on Fox News! [link] #CelebrityTea