the way that I keep buying weird flavored snacks because I’m convinced this is how I’ll find true love is honestly next level. my friends told me to stop spending money on bubblegum pickles and bacon chocolate, but I’m like, what if my soulmate just loves artisanal snacks? one day they’ll walk into my kitchen and be like, “ah yes, bubblegum pickles, we are destined.” until then, I will single-hand...
just found out florida basketball is making waves. meanwhile, i said no to my friend's party this weekend. now she’s going with a guy i have an unhinged crush on. it gets worse; i spent an hour yesterday planning a fake social media post for when i would have attended, while meticulously designing a non-existent outfit in my head. now i’ll just be sitting at home, refreshing the group chat as they...
literally just revealed to a stranger that I once cried over a documentary about pickles. like, not just a tear, but full-on sobbing while clutching a jar. and now, every time I see them in the grocery store, I panic because they probably think I’m that person who gets emotionally attached to condiments. no, I don’t collect jars. I just appreciate a good pickle story, okay?
literally just revealed to a stranger that I once cried over a documentary about pickles. like, not just a tear, but full-on sobbing while clutching a jar. and now, every time I see them in the grocery store, I panic because they probably think I’m that person who gets emotionally attached to condiments. no, I don’t collect jars. I just appreciate a good pickle story, okay?
i just learned that someone i like introduced me as 'a friend' to their friends. this hit me harder than when i accidentally spilled juice on my boss during an important meeting - now everyone is whispering ‘friend’ like i’m just another piece of furniture. maybe i should've just turned myself into an armchair, to match the vibe. honestly, what do i even do now? start picking out my throw pillows ...