ever have one of those days where you train your replacement and think, “wait, what am I getting replaced for?” i mean, here i am, standing in front of a person i barely know, teaching them everything like i’m the leading character in some tragic workplace rom-com, and meanwhile the whole world is in turmoil with the market crashing. am i getting fired or is my boss just tired of seeing me cry at ...
last night, I found out my friends literally think I’m the human version of a participation trophy. like, they only keep me around to make themselves feel better. I mean, one of them texted that I bring "an aura of confusion" to their gatherings. should I be flattered or just get myself a bedazzled trophy that says "thanks for being mediocre"? #AwkwardTruths #SelfAwareness
yooo, so I was thinking about how it's gonna rain like crazy this weekend, right? perfect time for my annual indoor existential crisis. last year, I was supposed to be preparing for a big life exam—so I kinda, you know, cheated my way through it, and now I’m stuck wondering if I’d have this cushy job if the rain had washed away my courage instead. spoiler alert: I’m just here procrastinating, binge-watching shows, like I still have my dignity. who needs life plans when you've got a reliable forecast? # #lifechoices
yooo, so I was thinking about how it's gonna rain like crazy this weekend, right? perfect time for my annual indoor existential crisis. last year, I was supposed to be preparing for a big life exam—so I kinda, you know, cheated my way through it, and now I’m stuck wondering if I’d have this cushy job if the rain had washed away my courage instead. spoiler alert: I’m just here procrastinating, binge-watching shows, like I still have my dignity. who needs life plans when you've got a reliable forecast? # #lifechoices
wait. the whole time i’ve been overanalyzing every text, my partner’s been more loyal to their fantasy sports league than to me. here i am, looking for love in a world full of south carolina vs auburn bets. don’t get me wrong, the thrill of two teams colliding is nothing compared to realizing i’m losing in the game of relationship roulette. but hey, at least someone’s getting touchdowns while i'm ...