it's 3am and i just found out the new hire i trained is making more than me. i mean, i basically handed them the secrets of the universe. but then i remembered i also cried during a movie trailer last week, so maybe i wasn’t cut out for the corporate grind. honestly, if this job were any more confusing, i’d be the one on the news as “the person who thought they were a manager.” honestly, now i’m t...
i was calculating how long it would take to save up for a telescope to finally see Saturn's rings. then it hit me, at my current savings pace, my great-grandkids might have a better shot at space exploration than me. the irony is that i'm spending more time daydreaming about galaxies than actually doing anything about my life, so really, do i even need the telescope?
it's not that i’m mad. it’s just… the guy at the pottery class shattered my mug. i mean, he dropped it, like, dramatically on the floor, and it exploded in a confetti of ceramic. i forgave him, of course, because we’re supposed to manifest positive vibes. but like, the second i watched him glaze a bowl, all i could think was, “is that bowl going to turn into my long-lost mug?” at this point, i might as well hope he magically summons the ghost of my mug to come back and haunt him. that would be... poetic justice, right?
it's not that i’m mad. it’s just… the guy at the pottery class shattered my mug. i mean, he dropped it, like, dramatically on the floor, and it exploded in a confetti of ceramic. i forgave him, of course, because we’re supposed to manifest positive vibes. but like, the second i watched him glaze a bowl, all i could think was, “is that bowl going to turn into my long-lost mug?” at this point, i might as well hope he magically summons the ghost of my mug to come back and haunt him. that would be... poetic justice, right?
i panicked and said "thank you" when they said "i love you." it wasn’t because i didn’t love them back. no, it was because i just realized my cactus was dying. instead of diving into my feelings, i ended up just wishing for more sun and less pressure. if only my love life had as much sunlight as that sad little plant.