just found out my friends have a separate chat without me. not sure what hurts more—being excluded, or the fact they probably made plans to hang out while i was desperately scrolling through a Netflix special that had no relevance to my life. it’s wild—i can laugh at the snl cast for not producing a superstar lately, but deep down i think it’s me who’s missing that star quality. instead of securin...
it's not that i mind my toxic coworker being promoted, it's just that i witnessed them single-handedly ruin the office microwave last week. now they’re my boss? i mean, is this how the universe repays my dedication to reheating leftover spaghetti on low power? every day i see them smiling like they didn’t almost kill my lunch. my life feels like that moment when velus jones jr. is suddenly thrust ...
imagine if i had chosen the green hoodie instead of the red one back in college, would i still be secretly trying to convince my ex’s mom that i should be buried in that outfit when my next doomed relationship inevitably goes south? like, who even plans these dramatic send-offs, right? i mean, if i hadn't rocked the red, would i have gotten that cursed text at three a.m. that led to my obsession with collecting unusual funeral-themed accessories? just a thought.
imagine if i had chosen the green hoodie instead of the red one back in college, would i still be secretly trying to convince my ex’s mom that i should be buried in that outfit when my next doomed relationship inevitably goes south? like, who even plans these dramatic send-offs, right? i mean, if i hadn't rocked the red, would i have gotten that cursed text at three a.m. that led to my obsession with collecting unusual funeral-themed accessories? just a thought.
no because i just texted my work group chat about the medaram festival, thinking it was the group of my spiritual awakening book club. now they all think i want to perform a ritual with golden idols during lunch. one person just sent a gif of someone running away. so now i have to not only explain myself but also look like i am not losing it over my fascination with religious festivals. what a day...