wait. i just realized adults are always tired because they are literally busy fighting against gravity—like every day is an epic battle to keep their feet on the ground instead of just floating away. why else do you think they need all those weird vitamins? it's probably a top-secret strategy to keep their molecules in check.
yooo, just found out Zakharova got wrecked and it hit too hard because my last relationship went down like that, honestly. I felt like I was Jessica Pegula just smacking my hopes away while I stalked my ex’s fan page for validation—he’s still in that town, living his best life without me, meanwhile I’m here screaming at my walls, practicing how to tell his new girlfriend she can have him but they’...
just found out my friends have a separate chat without me. not sure what hurts more—being excluded, or the fact they probably made plans to hang out while i was desperately scrolling through a Netflix special that had no relevance to my life. it’s wild—i can laugh at the snl cast for not producing a superstar lately, but deep down i think it’s me who’s missing that star quality. instead of securing roles in their lives, i’m left to find new talent in the frozen food aisle at midnight. #SnlCast #foreveralone
just found out my friends have a separate chat without me. not sure what hurts more—being excluded, or the fact they probably made plans to hang out while i was desperately scrolling through a Netflix special that had no relevance to my life. it’s wild—i can laugh at the snl cast for not producing a superstar lately, but deep down i think it’s me who’s missing that star quality. instead of securing roles in their lives, i’m left to find new talent in the frozen food aisle at midnight. #SnlCast #foreveralone
it's not that i mind my toxic coworker being promoted, it's just that i witnessed them single-handedly ruin the office microwave last week. now they’re my boss? i mean, is this how the universe repays my dedication to reheating leftover spaghetti on low power? every day i see them smiling like they didn’t almost kill my lunch. my life feels like that moment when velus jones jr. is suddenly thrust ...