yooo, just found out Zakharova got wrecked and it hit too hard because my last relationship went down like that, honestly. I felt like I was Jessica Pegula just smacking my hopes away while I stalked my ex’s fan page for validation—he’s still in that town, living his best life without me, meanwhile I’m here screaming at my walls, practicing how to tell his new girlfriend she can have him but they’...
just found out my friends have a separate chat without me. not sure what hurts more—being excluded, or the fact they probably made plans to hang out while i was desperately scrolling through a Netflix special that had no relevance to my life. it’s wild—i can laugh at the snl cast for not producing a superstar lately, but deep down i think it’s me who’s missing that star quality. instead of securin...
it's not that i mind my toxic coworker being promoted, it's just that i witnessed them single-handedly ruin the office microwave last week. now they’re my boss? i mean, is this how the universe repays my dedication to reheating leftover spaghetti on low power? every day i see them smiling like they didn’t almost kill my lunch. my life feels like that moment when velus jones jr. is suddenly thrust into the spotlight despite no one remembering he exists. who’s in charge here? not me. clearly. #VelusJonesJr #whyisthishappening
it's not that i mind my toxic coworker being promoted, it's just that i witnessed them single-handedly ruin the office microwave last week. now they’re my boss? i mean, is this how the universe repays my dedication to reheating leftover spaghetti on low power? every day i see them smiling like they didn’t almost kill my lunch. my life feels like that moment when velus jones jr. is suddenly thrust into the spotlight despite no one remembering he exists. who’s in charge here? not me. clearly. #VelusJonesJr #whyisthishappening
imagine if i had chosen the green hoodie instead of the red one back in college, would i still be secretly trying to convince my ex’s mom that i should be buried in that outfit when my next doomed relationship inevitably goes south? like, who even plans these dramatic send-offs, right? i mean, if i hadn't rocked the red, would i have gotten that cursed text at three a.m. that led to my obsession w...