my family found my social media, and now i have to explain why i have a “2024 grocery list for an apocalypse” pinned. they keep asking if i really think we’ll need twelve cans of pumpkin puree and a lifetime supply of spaghetti. they don’t understand that in my mind, i’m the last survivor, fending off waves of feral cats for the last pack of toilet paper. honestly, why would i admit that my ultima...
i keep thinking about how i might run into that guy who collects old napkin holders at the thrift store. you know, like casually bump into him by the porcelain flamingo section. and what if i casually bring up my deep knowledge of vintage paper weights and then suddenly we're discussing the complexities of cutlery from the 1950s. but then, it hits me — does he even know i spent three hours watchin...
honestly, I just bought a fancy vintage typewriter I absolutely do not need. I thought, "what if I need to write my memoir about my not-so-glamorous life?” Spoiler alert: I have no plans to do that. I left the store with my purchase and thought, “this better inspire a best-seller,” but I don't even know how to fix the ribbon... should I take it to Jalen Smith and ask for help? #JalenSmith #cringe
honestly, I just bought a fancy vintage typewriter I absolutely do not need. I thought, "what if I need to write my memoir about my not-so-glamorous life?” Spoiler alert: I have no plans to do that. I left the store with my purchase and thought, “this better inspire a best-seller,” but I don't even know how to fix the ribbon... should I take it to Jalen Smith and ask for help? #JalenSmith #cringe
i just did the math on how much time i spend daydreaming about my barista crushing my soul versus the actual coffee i buy. let me tell you—it's a financial BLACK HOLE of heartbreak. just yesterday, while sipping my cappuccino, i realized i'm investing more in their "have a great day" than in my own happiness. now, with this weapons ban news floating around, i'm pretty sure my heart just got added ...