why do we even have subscriptions? just realized how many I forgot about. now I’m picturing myself in a courtroom arguing with a personal injury lawyer over how my mental health was injured by eight music streaming services I didn't need. like, I need help getting back those hours wasted contemplating what the “right” background noise for cooking spaghetti was... wait, I did I actually do that? I ...
yooo, just got a notification from the family group chat. the stress of planning a potluck is more intense than any meeting at work. mom just texted ten different dishes she expects from each of us, meanwhile, i am still trying to figure out what a real job even looks like. oh, and can we discuss how my cousin used this tragic news about prathamesh kadam to pitch her new ‘uplifting’ Instagram seri...
ok but remember that arts festival I turned down to binge-watch every season of a reality show about professional mermaids? well, my best friend took my spot and somehow got a standing ovation for her glittery seashell costume. i just sat there with a pint of ice cream watching them on live-stream. then the worst part happened… the fish that her costume was inspired by became an influencer.
ok but remember that arts festival I turned down to binge-watch every season of a reality show about professional mermaids? well, my best friend took my spot and somehow got a standing ovation for her glittery seashell costume. i just sat there with a pint of ice cream watching them on live-stream. then the worst part happened… the fish that her costume was inspired by became an influencer.
just realized my friends think of me as their personal injury attorney. apparently, my whole personality is just me helping them navigate life's bumps while i apologize to every piece of furniture for existing. honestly, if my couch could talk, it would file a lawsuit against me for emotional distress. like, last week someone bumped into me and i instantly went into damage control mode for their f...