just realized i wrote a whole thank you speech for the Columbus Blue Jackets' awards gala, which i have never been invited to. printed it out, framed it even. i was all ready to talk about the team's journey and how proud i am of them. the only journey i’ve been on is deciding what to order for dinner. i’m not even a fan! guess who’ll never be the center of attention at a non-existent gala. me. #C...
just found out my 'best friend' only texts when they need something. texted me yesterday asking for a favor while i was deep in my own existential crisis, crying over an eight percent pay hike that would probably barely cover my therapist bill. it hit me harder than the time i accidentally told my boss i could "handle the pressure," while fantasizing about quitting to become a professional bubble wrap popper. #8thPayCommissionSalaryHike #crushingdisillusionment
just found out my 'best friend' only texts when they need something. texted me yesterday asking for a favor while i was deep in my own existential crisis, crying over an eight percent pay hike that would probably barely cover my therapist bill. it hit me harder than the time i accidentally told my boss i could "handle the pressure," while fantasizing about quitting to become a professional bubble wrap popper. #8thPayCommissionSalaryHike #crushingdisillusionment
just found out my ex’s new partner knows all my deepest secrets. apparently my best friend told them after one too many wine nights. so now i’m imagining my secrets being smashed to bits like a cricket bat hitting a ball. seriously, do i need a defense coach to get through this drama? stay tuned for the epic showdown, it’s about to get messy. #SuperSmash #MessyDrama