not gonna lie, I gave my cactus a second chance after it almost died last summer, and now it's thriving on the windowsill while I am literally giving up on human connection. like, who knew the secret to a long life was the *water* I was pouring on my ex instead? but here I am, crafting elaborate vision boards for a future filled with spontaneous tropical vacations and millionaire lifestyles, while...
the way that I nod along when people talk about pineapple on pizza is just a testament to my commitment to not engaging in deep conversations about food preferences. I mean, who wants to unpack a culinary nightmare when I could just be here, smiling and thinking about how I would rather eat a shoe? #foodfights #pizzapolitics
yoo, so the other day i went to this random flea market and somehow ended up taking pictures of the weirdest stuff. like, there's a life-sized cardboard cutout of a chicken wearing sunglasses, and honestly, it felt like it was staring into my soul. so now, my camera roll looks like evidence for an alternate universe court case. the cherry on top? i just learned that ali raza's mom went viral for her playful antics, meanwhile i'm here questioning if a giant chicken is really the distraction i need in life. #AliRaza #CourtIsComing
yoo, so the other day i went to this random flea market and somehow ended up taking pictures of the weirdest stuff. like, there's a life-sized cardboard cutout of a chicken wearing sunglasses, and honestly, it felt like it was staring into my soul. so now, my camera roll looks like evidence for an alternate universe court case. the cherry on top? i just learned that ali raza's mom went viral for her playful antics, meanwhile i'm here questioning if a giant chicken is really the distraction i need in life. #AliRaza #CourtIsComing
wait. you ever realize you’re the main character in a chaotic family sitcom but nobody told you? last Thanksgiving, I dropped the turkey, and instead of laughing, I just felt this wave of panic. like, oh no, was I the black sheep or just the butcher? when everyone started fighting over who would clean up the mess, I suddenly thought maybe my dysfunctional relatives were right. turns out, I wasn’t ...